Psychosexual

Therapy

“Sex is hardly ever just about sex.”

Shirley MacLaine

Sex is a fun and important part of a happy and healthy life, and it can be a significant part of a healthy couple relationship. Sex is also important for health for many reasons including lower blood pressure, better heart health, and emotional wellbeing.

However, for some people, sex is a source of great anxiety and worry. Sexual issues can lead to issues of identity, loss of confidence, relationship complications, and many other negative effects.

When someone experiences a sexual problem they often feel too embarrassed or ashamed to talk about it. They may fear talking about it to their partner and as a result begin to avoid any closeness or intimacy. The beauty of talking to a sex therapist is that they are specially trained to help you feel at ease, to remove any blocks to communication and to support you in overcoming the problem.

What causes sexual problems?

Many people will come up against challenges in their sex lives and relationships within their lifetime. The issues may be short or long term when someone is single or in a relationship. For some these challenges are a natural part of their stage in life but for others they stem from an individual’s history, beliefs or trauma.

Some of the challenges that I regularly see and treat are:

* Loss of desire and arousal difficulties

* Erectile dysfunction & Ejaculation difficulties

* Reducing anxiety around sex, relationships and intimacy

* Vulval pain conditions

* Vaginismus

* Dyspareunia (pain during intercourse)

* Orgasmic or anorgasmic problems

* Fears around lack of sexual experience

There can be various causes for sexual issues such as:

* physical (illness, disability, accident, surgery or medications)

* psychological (depression, anxiety or other mental health conditions)

* emotional (unhappiness in the relationship, unresolved grief)

* situational (certain situations or environments)

Visiting your doctor is a good first step if you think the cause may be physical as sometimes there will be ways your doctor can help (for example, trying different medications), but if not, then sex therapy may provide a way for you to understand and address the underlying issues.

What is Sex Therapy or Psychosexual Therapy (PST)?

Sex Therapy is a specialised type of talking therapy that is designed to help individuals and couples address the underlying factors that may impact on sexual satisfaction. The goal of Sex Therapy is to enable people to move past physical and emotional challenges to have a fulling sex life.

My aims is to help people to understand themselves, their history and their relationships so that the underlying issues beneath any sexual problems such as anxiety, trauma, stress, and identity/confidence, can be addressed.

For me, Sex Therapy always involves taking an integrated approach to Counselling. Cognitive-Behavioural Therapy (CBT) forms the core, but it is informed and guided by other approaches, such as a Systemic and Psychodynamic. This means that I always consider a person or couple’s history and contextual relationships to explore any unconscious thoughts and feelings that may impact on their sexual identity and sexual expression.

I work with individuals and couples of all sexual orientations, gender identities and sexualities. Sex Therapy can be really helpful for you at whatever stage you are at in life, whether you are single or in a relationship – or anything in between. However, if you are in a relationship and the problem is affecting your partner it helps if they can attend sessions too.

What happens in a Sex Therapy session?

Talking to a stranger about your sex life may feel uncomfortable but I am not here to judge. By being honest and talking about what you are experiencing I will be able to help you to understand the root of the issue and offer ways of helping you to manage or overcome the symptoms.

Sex Therapy starts like most psychotherapies with an initial assessment whose purpose is to see whether Sex Therapy is right for you at this time. In this first session I will listen sensitively to your description of the problem and seek to understand how it is impacting on your life and your relationships.

If we decide that Sex Therapy is appropriate for you at this time then we will agree to meet on a regular basis to explore the issues you have raised. I will take a personal history and create a treatment plan for going forward with regular review sessions to determine how the work is going. We can do this via Zoom or in person in my counselling room in Wells.

Sessions are generally every week and last up to 50 minutes and will include using self-help tools, practical exercises to be done at home and sexual education. All of the work we do in Sex Therapy is based on talking, however, you are also given homework to do in the privacy of your own home. Each therapy session is confidential.